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What is "deconstruction," and how do I react?
This topic is on the hearts of many in the church, and for good reason. Therefore, I want to make a couple of things very clear -
Abuse, toxic cultures, and cults happen within the Christian church. We must accept that. The Church has hurt people, and will continue to hurt people, because it's made of people.
I refuse to create an "us vs them" dichotomy. I don't play that game, and I don't have time for it. We are all on a journey in our faith. There is no shame in questioning your beliefs and staying in your church just like there is no shame in questioning your beliefs and leaving your church. Here's why I feel this way:
There is one body and one Spirit—
just as you were called to one hope at your calling—
one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all,
who is above all and through all and in all.
Eph. 4:4-6, Christian Standard Bible
I'm going to take a hard right turn here away from this verse, but if you stay with me I promise we'll return to Paul in a few minutes. By the way, I know by quoting Paul, that I've already lost some of you, but please... bear with me... and Paul.
What is Deconstruction?
Turning to my friend the Cambridge dictionary, the definition of deconstruct is "the act of breaking something down into its separate parts in order to understand its meaning, especially when this is different from how it was previously understood."
Basically - you analyze and question what you were taught. Maybe you change your mind, maybe you don't.
As an aside, I thought I'd share this cartoon because I think encapsulates so much.
Plus, I love the Naked Pastor! His cartoons are so funny!
Have you heard the slippery slope argument? I wonder if the Pharisees thought the ministry of Jesus was a slippery slope?
I share this make a point. Do I agree with everything the Naked Pastor shares? Not everything (but a lot of it). Do I respect him enough to not write him off as being divisive in the church? Yes, absolutely!!
P.S. I have a digital subscription to his website, I didn't just save a picture for free and use it.
Please consider doing the same.
While I was considering how to explain this the other night, I thought about grilled cheese sandwiches. Don't judge! (And don't skip ahead either!) When I was little my mother taught me how to make a grilled cheese sandwich - butter the outside of the bread, put the cheese in the middle, grill. In my 20's I met someone who buttered both sides of the bread. Weird, but still made a sandwich. In my 30's the mayonnaise craze hit and everyone (including me) used mayonnaise on the outside of the bread instead. Bonus points if you bought the garlic aioli. One day I was watching Jamie Oliver. He made your basic sandwich... and then he grated cheese into the pan and fried the sandwich again on both sides creating a cheese crust! I drool just thinking about it. If you have young kids, it doesn't matter what the sandwich looks like, they take it apart and eat all the different parts separately (provided you don't use cheese singles).
Where am I going with this? To the kitchen! I want a grilled cheese sandwich now!
In all seriousness, the point I'm trying to make is this - these are all grilled cheese sandwiches. Some of us like to stick with what we know. Some of us like to get adventurous, examining what we know, and asking questions. None of them are wrong, they're just... different.
Sometimes, in our decision to be right, we miss the person in front of us. When someone asks "Why can't women be leaders?" we're quick to quote all the "biblical," in most cases denominational, reasons instead of engaging the conversation. When the older generation questions new thinking, the younger one balks and disengages. Unity does not equal uniformity, but maturity does mean that you accept differences.
Asking questions and holding onto traditions aren't bad things. Jesus did both. He went to the synagogue and he questioned the Pharisees. He held a Passover meal and he pushed past social barriers.
If, as Paul says, God "is above all and through all and in all," what are we so afraid of? Do you think God can't or won't work in this situation?
Consider this: Jesus said "whoever denies me before others, I will also deny him before my Father in heaven" (Mt. 10:33). Yet, he still went and found Peter after the resurrection. And, after Peter denied him - three times!!! How about the disciples? They all scattered when Jesus was arrested, and when Jesus showed up amongst them, they still didn't believe. They thought he was a ghost (Lk. 24:37). Or Thomas, who denied it was Christ until he was invited to put his hand in Jesus' side and saw the wounds in Jesus' hands (Jn. 20:27). But they started the first movement of what became the church. God's may give us peace that passes understanding, but his grace is absolutely unfathomable.
Historically, there have been some Deconstructors too. Without Martin Luther the Reformation would have been much different. Without Ulrich Zwingli we wouldn't have the Swiss Reformed Church. What about John Calvin? Another form of the Reformed Church. John Knox? The Scottish Presbyterian church. Menno Simmons was a Roman Catholic priest who is credited with beginning the Anabaptist, or Mennonite, denomination. (Here's a fact for you: Early Protestants didn't like the Anabaptists and would persecute them by drowning them because of the Anabaptists' strong belief in immersion baptism.) Jumping ahead to 1906 we have William J. Seymour (Feb 22), at the Azusa Street revival and Ellen Hebden (Nov 17) in Markham, Ontario leading Pentecostal movement at two different times and places. All of these people, and many more, challenged what was known and accepted.
What if "deconstruction" is actually Reformation? The Reformation didn't destroy the Roman Catholic Church. Will deconstruction destroy the Western Evangelical Church? Or, will it make something new and more accessible for everyone? Traditional teachings for those who love tradition, and progressive teaching for those who are more progressive.
"But Andrea! People are leaving the church!" you say.
Yes, I know. I hear their stories. I read their stories, and I watch their stories.
So, What Do I Do?
Too often, when someone shares what happened to them, we're quick to say "well, that's not my experience," or "I trust Pastor So-and-So, and that would never happen," or "my church is a place where people love Jesus and do their best." And you know what? I'm happy for you! I'm happy you found a community you love - but they didn't. Their memories aren't happy, or good. They had a bad experience. So validate that! You don't get to decide if someone's experience was bad or good.
Here are some suggestions:
Do: Listen. Actually listen. Not to respond, or retort, but to understand.
Don't: Quote Bible verses.
Do: Apologize that they experienced that.
Don't: Tell them they're wrong.
Do: Ask questions about their experience so you can better understand why they decided to leave.
Don't: Tell them they must belong to a Christian community.
Do: Continue to be friends with them.
Don't: Say you'll pray for them (unless they ask!)
Don't say "the Bible says."
Do: offer to be a sounding board for their questions.
Jesus asked over 300 questions, and he answered 3. He didn't try to change people's minds and the only ones he argued with were the religious leaders. At least until he got to Jerusalem, then he largely chose silence.
Can we do the same?
How Spiritual Direction Can Help
Spiritual direction offers a safe, confidential, grace-filled space for you to wrestle with your questions. A trained director is knowledgeable about spiritual disciplines that may help on your deconstruction journey. There is no pressure to come to the same conclusions that they have. It's simply a space to explore your faith.
Some Helpful Resources:
Overlooked by James Robertson - Explores the history of the Canadian church
The Story of Christianity by Justo Gonzalez
Vol. 1 - From the Early Church to the Reformation
Vol. 2 - From the Reformation to Present Day
Please keep in mind that any links to books are through the affiliate program on Amazon.
This doesn't mean much for you, but if you decide to purchase a book I recommended, I'll get a little kick-back.
Remember, I would not recommend something I don't support.
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