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Hint: Avoiding desire adversely impacts discernment.
Desire is an interesting word in the Christian faith. Often vilified because of it's sexual connotations, we link desire with "wrong" but that's not actually the case. According to the Cambridge dictionary desire means "to want something, especially strongly." Is it safe to paraphrase that as "to really, really want something?" I think it is, so let's move ahead with that definition. Special note here, it says something, not someone. However, even beyond the idea that desire is purely sexual, there's the belief that desire is selfish - i.e. "we can't have what we want, we must desire what God wants." It's at this point that fear comes into to play, and can be used as a tool of manipulation or coercion. There's a term for that too, it's called spiritual abuse. So, how does desire help us discern? Let's find out!
Please note: I am not encouraging destructive and/or harmful behaviour in this post. Let's be sensible here.
Early Church Father, St. Irenaeus (2 AD) once said,
"The glory of God is the human person fully alive."
St. Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556), founder of the Jesuits, brought desire into his spiritual practice of the daily examen, and instructed people to share their heartfelt desires at the beginning of their prayer. The daily examen is a prayer for the end of the day where you consider what happened, and how you were close or distant from God. "Hello. My name is Inigo of Loyola. You have desires. Prepare to share." Sorry, I can't help myself!
Why do I mention these two men? Because they teach us that desire isn't a bad thing.
The Psalmist says,
"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Ps. 37:4, NIV)
or
"Enjoy the Lord, and he will give you what your heart asks." (CEB)
Interestingly, the ancient word used for "desire" here, mishalah, roughly translates as petition, request, and desire. It's also found in Psalm 20:5,
"May we shout for joy over your salvation, and in the name of our God set up our banners! May the Lord fulfill all your petitions." (ESV)
I'm not a fan of the ESV, but I'm using it here to prove a point since it's so widely used in conservative circles, where desire has been taught as something wrong or bad. The same version that translates mishalah as desires, also translates it as petitions. Please note that Psalm 37:4 and 20:5 are the only two places the word mishalah is used. I'm merely pointing out that our interpretation of the word "desire" may be much different than the original authors intended for it to be meant. With that out of the way... let's keep going!
In The Discerning Heart Wilkie and Noreen Au share that "desires reflect the longings of our heart and point to an incompleteness yearning for fulfillment." If we cut off the part of us that shares what we desire, how will we ever make a decision? Further to that, it's actually not how Jesus went about his ministry either. Check this out,
In John 1:38, Jesus asks John the Baptist's disciples "what do you want?"
In Matthew 20:32, he asks two blind men "what do you want me to do for you?"
In Mark 10:51 and Luke 18:41 Jesus asks Blind Bartimaeus "what do you want me to do for you?"
In John 5:6 he asks the man by the pool at Bethesda "do you want to get well?"
In Matthew 20:21 Jesus asks the mother of James and John "what do you want?"
In Mark 10:36, James and John's mother is taken out of the equation, and instead Jesus asks the two men directly "what do you want me to do for you?"
In John 6:67 while addressing his disciples Jesus says "do you also want to leave?"
All throughout his ministry, Jesus asks questions based on the desires of those around him whether it was his disciples, followers, the Pharisees, or the crowds. When you're trying to discern God's will, how often do you ask yourself questions like this:
How do I feel about the decision?
How will I feel if I don't make this decision?
What is the goal here?
Why am I going to make this decision?
What do I want?
What don't I want?
To help clarify everything, Wilke and Noreen Au share four types of desires - wishful, instinctual, tentative, and definitive - and they're pretty straightforward.
Wishful Desires
What do you wish you could do? Maybe you like to travel. Maybe you wish you could help vulnerable people in your community but you work full-time, and have small children. Wishful desires are things not likely to become reality anytime soon, if ever. They're typically accompanied by the phrase "I wish."
Instinctual Desires
These are basic human impulses, or emotions. When you're hungry, you eat. When you're tired, you sleep. When you feel emotions, you react. They're also related, like when you're hungry you may get angry. They're more concrete than wishful desires. You may find yourself saying "I feel like."
Tentative Desires
These are more than wishes because they're closer to fruition. You haven't made a decision either way but you could make one easily. You may say "I would like to."
Definitive Desires
These are the things we actually want, and they're shown in our actions. Sometimes we may say we want something, but our actions demonstrate that's not really the case. This desire is accompanied by the phrase, not surprisingly, "I want."
If you had the opportunity to really reflect on, and finish those sentences what would you learn about yourself? (I mean what you want, not what someone wants for you, or what you think you "should" do.) Conversely, if you had a past experience where you were trying to do something in your steam, how was it different from when you were actually doing something "according to God's will?" Reflecting on those opposite past experiences can help you better understand discernment as well.
My final thought is for those of us who are so worried we're "outside" God's will. Au and Au share that "even when we do not get it all right, our very desire to open our lives to the guiding influence of God will inevitably draw us closer to God."
Resources
The Discerning Heart by Wilkie Au & Noreen Cannon Au (I recommend a print copy)
Desiring God's Will by David Benner
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