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"I can't get mad at God... can I?"
I recently saw a church post this quote by Charles Spurgeon:
"Our complaining is often a kind of practical atheism."
I'll be completely upfront about two things:
I don't know much about Spurgeon, other than the random quotes you may find online, as in this case.
I didn't look into the context of what Spurgeon was talking about, and I don't plan to. Although I did have a conversation with my writing group, which I'll reference in a bit.
Ultimately, those things aren't relevant to me right now. What is relevant is how this quote was used. Since the church didn't offer any explanation in their post, I can only go with my gut response, which equates complaining with atheism.
"Complaining" is not equal to atheism. Merriam Webster defines complain as "to express grief, pain, or discontent." Complaining is equivalent to lamenting, see my first point, below. Merriam Webster defines lament as "to express sorrow, mourning, or regret" or "to regret strongly." Complaining, or lamenting, is found all through the Bible! In fact:
60% of the Psalms are "complaining" or lament psalms.
Psalm 88 ends with the phrase "darkness is my only friend." (v. 18)
There's a whole book called "Lamentations."
David - the man after God's own heart? Check out Psalm 13 and 22. Complaining.
Have you read Job recently? Once again, the majority of the book is about one man (and a few friends) who complain. And who can blame him?! The man lost a lot.
How about the prophets?
Jonah was greatly displeased and became furious. He prayed to the Lord, “Please, Lord, isn’t this what I said while I was still in my own country? That’s why I fled toward Tarshish in the first place. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger, abounding in faithful love, and one who relents from sending disaster. And now, Lord, take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.”
Johah 4:1-3, CSB
How long, Lord, must I call for help
and you do not listen
or cry out to you about violence
and you do not save?
Habbakuk 1:2, CSB
"But that's the Old Testament," you say.
Okay, let's take a look at the New Testament.
Paul complains about having a thorn in his flesh (1 Corinthians 2:7), and his own inner turmoil (Romans 7:22-24).
Let's not forget about Jesus, he has a couple complaints too!
About the disciples:
Jesus replied, “You unbelieving and perverse generation, how long will I be with you? How long must I put up with you? ”
Matthew 17:17, CSB
About the Pharisees:
"Isaiah prophesied correctly about you hypocrites... abandoning the command of God, you hold onto human tradition... You have a fine way of invalidating God's command in order to set up your tradition!"
Mark 7: 6-9, CSB
Or... the biggest lament of all (and one we can relate to often!):
"Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani... My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?"
Matthew 27:46; Mark 15:34, CSB
Coincidentally, that last one is taken right out of Psalm 22, the first verse to be exact, which was spoken by David. So, you have David, a man after God's own heart, and Jesus, God incarnate on earth, who... well... complain! Still think it's "practical atheism?"
When I brought this up to my writing group, one member asked why atheism has to be a bad word. She questioned - don't we all experience a little bit of atheism numerous times throughout our day? We ask where God is during moments of heartache? We doubt his goodness? We ridicule ourselves and others, who were created in God's own image? This was a fascinating perspective for me, and one I plan to ponder more.
We cannot go through life without complaining. It's physically and mentally unhealthy. In the storms of life we can get caught in an endless cycle of anger, frustration, grief and sadness. Perhaps it is the loss of a friendship, the death of a marriage, the dream isn't available anymore or the death of a loved one. All of these circumstances impact our lives in a detrimental way and it's easy to shrink into ourselves. We don't want help. We don't want to talk about it. Or perhaps all we do is talk about it. We feel alone in our emotions. Isolated in our grief.
Yes, we share with each other, but how are we sharing it with God? Is it like a grocery list? Or, a bargain? Or, an "if you can?" Lamenting is a way to share all of this with God. Let's consider Psalm 13:
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long will I store up anxious concerns within me,
agony in my mind every day?
How long will my enemy dominate me?
Consider me and answer, Lord my God.
Restore brightness to my eyes;
otherwise, I will sleep in death.
My enemy will say, “I have triumphed over him,
"and my foes will rejoice because I am shaken.
But I have trusted in your faithful love;
my heart will rejoice in your deliverance.
I will sing to the Lord because he has treated me generously.
(Christian Standard Bible)
In the beginning the psalmist shares their frustrations, but by the end you'll notice a change of tone, and placing trust back in God. This is the beauty of lament. We share openly, and directly with God what we're upset about. Not ready to put your trust back in God yet? That's okay! Psalm 88 may be for you.
The point I'm trying to make is this - we really have to get past the labels, the shame, and the harmful teaching that we can't be authentic with God. You can't preach that complaining is wrong, and that God knows our every thought. You're allowed to be angry, hurt, confused, frustrated, and whatever other emotion you're feeling. Can we just stop with the condemnation?!
"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."
John 3:17, CSB
How Spiritual Direction Can Help
Looking for a space to share you complaints? To lament your circumstances, whatever they may be? A spiritual director can help you do just that. This is your space to ask questions and wrestle with what you've been taught, and how it's impacted your spiritual walk.
I've had the honour of writing laments with a few people, and they are always powerful. For both of us - the individual, and me. I don't take it lightly that someone is sharing their deepest concerns, fears, or anger with me. It's an incredibly sacred time.
To finish, I wanted to share the most sincere prayer I may have come across:
Much thanks to the Naked Pastor.
Just a reminder that I subscribe to his digital art, I didn't just save an image.
Helpful Resources:
Prayer by Richard Foster
Chapters - 2, 4, 5, 18, & 19
Spiritual Disciplines Handbook by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun
Calhoun offers many different ways to interact with God, the Prayer of Lament being one of them.
Prayer, Stress and Our Inner Wounds by Flora Slosson Wuellner
Spirituality of the Psalms by Walter Brueggemann
Particularly the Psalms of Disorientation.
As always, the links for books above are part of the Amazon Affiliate program. If you decide to purchase them through the link I will make a small commission. However, I will not recommend something I don't approve of.
If you have read/or experienced harmful teaching based on these books, please accept my apologies and let me know so I can take another look at them.
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